FUNNY AND STUPID RESPONSES (:
Did you take a bath?" --> "Why, Is there one missing?"
"Are you chewing gum?" -->"No, I'm John Smith."
"I want to buy a dress to put on around the house."-->"Yes, Madam. How large is your house?"
"What are you going to be when you graduate?"-->"An old man"
"I spent three years in college taking medicine."-->"Are you well now?"
Do you say a prayer before you eat?"-->"No, we don't have to. My mother is a good cook."
"I've got a surprise for you, honey. I brought a friend home for Dinner."-->"Who wants to eat friends?"
"We are having mother for dinner, darling."-->"Make sure she's well done."
"I want some rat poison."-->"Should I wrap it up or do you want to eat it right here?"
"It seems that everything I say to you goes in one ear and out the Other."-->"Well, I guess that's why I've got two ears."
"May I hold your hand?"-->"No, thanks, It isn't heavy."
"Does water always come through the roof in this place?"-->"No, sir, only when it rains."
"When will you straighten out the house, dear?"-->"Why? Is it tilted?"
"Do you have big plastic bins?"-->"Yes, how many bodies do you want to dispose of"
"Do these stairs take you to the second floor?"-->"No, you'll have to walk"
"Now that you're married, you should have some insurance"-->But why? My wife isn't dangerous."
"I have changed! My mind."-->Thank heaven! Does it work better now?"
Waiter: Would you like your coffee black?-->Customer: What other colors do you have?
Haha. Freaking qianbian lor.
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